No Candy!

Has anyone seen the days after Halloween kid videos with Jimmy Kimmel? If not, here is what I did that is exactly what the videos showed. I just don't have a video to go with this story.

I figured since it has been nearly two weeks, it was time to take down the Halloween decorations. I left up the fall decorations though. I also have some Thanksgiving decorations that I put out once the Halloween ones were put away.

I first took down the decorations outside before the cold snap happened today. I was out there in my fleece nightshirt and sweatpants because I hadn't gotten my real clothes on yet. Then, I started with the inside. Everything was going along just fine. Well, there was a moment when my child asked why I was taking down the Halloween decorations and if I was going to put out Christmas stuff. I said, "Oh, no! It's not Christmas yet! We need to take down the Halloween decorations so we can get ready for Thanksgiving!" I made it clear I was NOT taking a page out of the retail book. I will not decorate for Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving. Each Holiday deserves their time in THIS house. My child was happy with that. Good.

I was just about finished wrapping delicate items and putting them gently away when I saw the pumpkin bucket, still with candy in it, sitting off to the side. The bucket would need to be put away as well. The candy inside was slowly diminishing. My child is rambunctious enough without candy so I do not offer it to him often. He does ask for candy but usually around breakfast time. I usually tell him he can have some after lunch but by that time, he has forgotten about the candy. I told my husband my child's candy was off limits to him. If I had not laid this rule down, it would be gone already and my son would have seen very little of it. I retrieved a bowl from the kitchen and dumped the candy in it. Then, the idea hit me to take a page from Jimmy Kimmel. Someone had posted the link to the videos he showed on his show on Facebook. I was in stitches.

With a sly smirk on my face I unwrapped a candy and put it in my mouth. I took the empty pumpkin bucket into the living room. I interrupted my child dancing to a television theme song and said while chewing on the candy, "I ate all your candy." He stopped and looked at me. "What?" he said. I repeated, "I ate all your candy." Quickly he looked in the bucket and grabbed it from me. He looked up at me with sad eyes and his bottom lip puffed out into a pout. The sad eyes slowly turned angry as the realization that all his sugary goodness had been devoured by his mother figure and he yelled, "That was MY candy!" I shrugged. Again, he yelled, "That was MY candy, not yours!" I bit my lip. I couldn't help it. I revealed my trickery. I smiled and told him to follow me. I showed him the bowl full of candy and said, "I didn't eat it. It is right here." His face lightened up and a smile brushed his lips for a brief moment. He grimaced at me and yelled, "Don't do that!" Then, he turned from me and promptly went back to playing.

Great idea, Jimmy Kimmel. Great idea. Humor at my child's expense. Tee hee!

Calling it what it is...

I am a parent that gives everything the proper name. I am not about cutesy names. I tell it like it is. This includes private parts.

Yes, this post is about that! If you are offended about the discussion of private parts, please stop reading now.

I never really understood why people starting naming things other than what they are called. It is what it is, people. Call it what it is! It's a penis. It's a vagina. They are breasts (or boobs, I'll let that one slip in).

As I am giving my son a bath. I went to stand in the hallway to watch the tv while he played. I was keeping a watchful eye on both. I started limping and cringing because my sciatic was acting up. My son asked, "Mommy, what's wrong?" Knowing he wouldn't understand what a sciatic is, I went with a more simple term, muscle. I told him, "My muscle in my rear end hurts." "What's a muscle?" I proceeded to tell him it is what makes our bones move. It makes our arms and legs move.

He said, "Or a penis?"

I just about died. I started laughing so hard. So did he but he has no idea. No idea.