No Candy!

Has anyone seen the days after Halloween kid videos with Jimmy Kimmel? If not, here is what I did that is exactly what the videos showed. I just don't have a video to go with this story.

I figured since it has been nearly two weeks, it was time to take down the Halloween decorations. I left up the fall decorations though. I also have some Thanksgiving decorations that I put out once the Halloween ones were put away.

I first took down the decorations outside before the cold snap happened today. I was out there in my fleece nightshirt and sweatpants because I hadn't gotten my real clothes on yet. Then, I started with the inside. Everything was going along just fine. Well, there was a moment when my child asked why I was taking down the Halloween decorations and if I was going to put out Christmas stuff. I said, "Oh, no! It's not Christmas yet! We need to take down the Halloween decorations so we can get ready for Thanksgiving!" I made it clear I was NOT taking a page out of the retail book. I will not decorate for Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving. Each Holiday deserves their time in THIS house. My child was happy with that. Good.

I was just about finished wrapping delicate items and putting them gently away when I saw the pumpkin bucket, still with candy in it, sitting off to the side. The bucket would need to be put away as well. The candy inside was slowly diminishing. My child is rambunctious enough without candy so I do not offer it to him often. He does ask for candy but usually around breakfast time. I usually tell him he can have some after lunch but by that time, he has forgotten about the candy. I told my husband my child's candy was off limits to him. If I had not laid this rule down, it would be gone already and my son would have seen very little of it. I retrieved a bowl from the kitchen and dumped the candy in it. Then, the idea hit me to take a page from Jimmy Kimmel. Someone had posted the link to the videos he showed on his show on Facebook. I was in stitches.

With a sly smirk on my face I unwrapped a candy and put it in my mouth. I took the empty pumpkin bucket into the living room. I interrupted my child dancing to a television theme song and said while chewing on the candy, "I ate all your candy." He stopped and looked at me. "What?" he said. I repeated, "I ate all your candy." Quickly he looked in the bucket and grabbed it from me. He looked up at me with sad eyes and his bottom lip puffed out into a pout. The sad eyes slowly turned angry as the realization that all his sugary goodness had been devoured by his mother figure and he yelled, "That was MY candy!" I shrugged. Again, he yelled, "That was MY candy, not yours!" I bit my lip. I couldn't help it. I revealed my trickery. I smiled and told him to follow me. I showed him the bowl full of candy and said, "I didn't eat it. It is right here." His face lightened up and a smile brushed his lips for a brief moment. He grimaced at me and yelled, "Don't do that!" Then, he turned from me and promptly went back to playing.

Great idea, Jimmy Kimmel. Great idea. Humor at my child's expense. Tee hee!

Mommy, are you exercising?

I just started a walking/running routine yesterday. Why? I signed up for a 5K. Everyone is doing it!! Right?! Yeah, well, I signed up for a fun 5K!! A zombie mud run 5k. Am I running in this 5k? Nope. I'm just going to be a zombie. *Looks at self* A fat zombie amongst all those skinny runners? *laughter* No. At least not this fat. Yes, I am overweight-ish. Maybe not as healthy as I would like to be. Am I happy with me? Yes and no. Who am I doing this for? My child (and myself).

I don't want to be that mom that is too big that can't do anything with their child. He is constantly asking me to play with him outside. I've been feeling really fatigued lately. I don't feel like playing with him. But I want to play with him. My body just won't let me. So, I'm doing something about it. :)

So, yesterday was my first day walking/running. (*For Boston!)

OMG! I'm not taking my kid with me next time. The extra weight to push was a little overwhelming. Maybe when I get a little bit more in shape, I'll push him in the stroller so I can tone but as of right now, no more.

He also needs to talk to me while I'm walking/running. I know you are suppose to be able to hold little conversations when doing this type of workout. You don't know my child. He talks about EVERYTHING! He's three years old. He's discovering his world around him. He's asking questions. He's stating facts. He's making observations. He's doing all this while I'm walking/running and out of breath. I try to respond to most things but I just want to concentrate on getting my first workout done!

So, we start out. He is in his stroller, a regular stroller. I'm not going out buying a jogging stroller when in a few months/years he'll be outgrown it. He is a big three year old. I'm also one who quits things. I'm hoping not to do that this time but I don't want a jogging stroller collecting dust in the garage because I quit. Here is the following conversation as I'm walking/running (my workout has me alternate).

My son: Mommy, where are we going?
Me: For a jog.
Son: Why?
Me: For exercise.

(silence for a while)

Son: I see trees.
Me: Uh, huh.
Son: Mommy, I see water.
Me: (puzzled, looks in the ditch, there it is) Uh, huh.

(silence for a little while)

My phone: Run. (I have one of those apps that tells you what to do.)
Son: Wheeeeeeee! (Stands up in the stroller)
Me: Sit down!
(He sits down. We continue down the road as my phone tells me what to do.)

Son: Mommy, are you exercising?
Me: Yes.
(I'm surprised there is no comment or "why?" after that. We continue on for a while longer.)

Son: I see the road going by.
Me: Uh, huh.
Son: I see stones.
Me: Yes.
Son: Mommy, watch out for that car.
Me: Uh, huh.
Son: Mommy, that car is coming.
Me: Uh, huh.
Son: Watch out!
(Car passes us without any incident.)
Son: Whoa, that was a close one!
My phone: Run.
(Some more walk, run, walk, run.)

Son: (As I'm turning around to head back home) Mommy, where are we going?
Me: Home.
Son: Why?
Me: Because.....I'm....almost....finished.
Son: You're almost finished?
Me: Yes.
Son: You're almost finished running?
Me: Yes.
My phone: Walk. (Thank, God!)
Son: Mommy, where are we going?
Me: Home.
Son: I don't want to go home.
(If I could I would have slapped my forehead with my palm.)
Me: Too...bad.

We continue down the road. My phone tells me a few more times to walk, run and a final cool down walk. Then I see the virtual light up ahead. Woohoo! By this time, I'm feeling good but tired. I just want my legs to stop. I know I'm not finished yet. I still have to do my cool down stretches. I finally get home. I start my cool down stretches using YouTube on my phone. I see my son grab the stroller. He wants to go again. This time, I do slap my palm to my forehead.

*I signed up for the 5k before the Boston Marathon incident. I had already decided to start my workout the following day. But I did dedicate my first workout to those involved in Boston.

The Start Up

*Deep breath*

Okay. Here it goes. My first blog. Let's start with what this blog is going to be about. Kids. Kids and what comes out of their mouths. Okay, maybe I didn't say that right. I meant words, people. Yes, there is the vomit, the yucky food they don't want to eat so they spit it out, teeth when they fall out, etc. I'll be concentrating on the words they spew.

Funny. The funny side of children's words. Those phrases they say out of the blue that have us chuckling or reposting on facebook that just don't have the same impact as when it came out of your child's mouth. Yeah, I'll try to relay the exact phrase, the tone in which is was spoken, and the moment when it made me laugh.

Cute. Those cute phrases that kids say that make us go, "awww." For instance, the other day I said, "I am exhausted. Whew!" My three year old (which is the most hilarious age, I think) comes over to me, lays a hand on my knee, and says, "That's okay," in the sweetest, kindest voice. I understood it as he was trying to console me in my time of fatigue. It was so precious.

What? He just said what? Those words or sentences that we hope we never hear again. You know, those words you say, that you really shouldn't have said around your kids and then they repeat it, and repeat it, and repeat it. OR those amazing, out-of-this-world insights they verbalize to us that completely knock us off our feet. For example, my son, when he was two telling me that the train over there is a diesel, not a steam engine. When did he learn that?! (I know where he learned it just didn't realize he was paying attention, but that's another story.)

For the most part those are the categories I file my son's interesting talk into. So, I hope you get some chuckles out of this blog and don't forget to look up my Facebook page under the same title. And please, let me know how I'm doing.